Me and people

This post especially expresses thoughts that touch on my own life. Thanks again Susanne for expressing your thoughts and experiences xxx

Meanwhile, in the real world...

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For as long as I can remember I’ve had people telling me I should be more like this, more like that – more confident, less shy, less anxious, more outgoing etc.etc. And so I try to be more like this and more like that and an unhealthy self-loathing emerges whenever I fell short.

To avoid hurt I did all that I could to ignore the elements of myself that didn’t fit my long held image of “Who I should be.” I pretended to be that person to the world, blagging my way through as best I could while making mental notes of every scrap of social etiquette I came across, constantly refining myself and trying to improve.

All the while I was pretending and blagging underneath it all lurked this feeling that I wasn’t good enough, words like “fake” and “pretentious” irked me like they were trying to tell me…

View original post 449 more words

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Author: yarnandpencil

I'm a Christian on the autistic spectrum blogging about life and my art/craft practice.

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