A confession, a book and a doll

I have a thing about dolls. I still have many of the dolls from my sixties childhood. They are hidden away. I’ve kind of felt ashamed about my doll love affair. It’s childish. I thought people would think me childish. Yes I am childish in many ways, after all, being child-like is an autistic trait. But. The new, no, …the real me… is gradually appearing and taking over and conquering the fears of the person I thought I was.

So, I’m coming out. And, my dolls should come out of the closet too.

I need to find a glass fronted antique style cabinet to display them. This is important as our home has two fires and sooty dust is a fact of life.

A year ago, before my shoulder became fully frozen I was completing a lot of jigsaw puzzles and this was one of them…


This jigsaw helped me re-identify with my authentic doll loving self. As a child my mum encouraged me to play with my dolls. I didn’t know how. But i did love to look at them. I liked collecting them. (During my teenage years I found all my dolls under the house and in the refuse bin. They were rescued and hidden away!)

Wind forward a year later too late November 2017 when I bought this book…


And inside I found the pattern for this doll that I completed last week…


I made her with my handspun yarn and she’s stuffed with fleece, yarn ends and a bit of poly fill.

My dolls are still in the closet. It’s time to get them out.

Author: yarnandpencil

I'm a Christian on the autistic spectrum blogging about life and my art/craft practice.

49 thoughts on “A confession, a book and a doll”

  1. Aww I love the jigsaw puzzle and the cats!!!😺 I don’t collect dolls but I have stuffed toys and I give them names. I carry one with me when I travel and this might sound weird, I communicate with my parents through the stuffed toys. Somehow, I find it easier because we have personalities that clash and talking through toys can help to act as a buffer. I’m a child at heart πŸ˜›

    Liked by 3 people

    1. How wonderful that your toys help you communicate. Thank you for telling me that. Lesley, in her comment above mentioned communication. I shall ponder on that. I don’t use dolls to communicate with others but it does feel like there is a sense of communication there… maybe it’s about selfhood.
      I think to retain childlike qualities is a gift. I think we could use it to our advantage to help manage anxiety. πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸŽ

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Get them out! Celebrate those dear companions that have stayed with you so long! I kept all my dolls until I was a teenager but had to leave most of them behind when my parents returned to the UK from living abroad. I have never forgotten them, their names or what they wore. However, my original Barbie ‘Skipper’ came with me and is now part of a collection of vintage barbie dolls from the 50’s and 60’s. People don’t understand but they bring so much joy, are a reminder of happy, carefree days. These dolls were ‘people’ who didn’t think me odd and ‘spoke’ to me in ways I understood. This is a love affair we should be free to cherish.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I don’t think it’s childish at all – and you are right – those of us on the spectrum can both maintain and sustain a child’s eye in a world that wants to grow up too quick – l have my teddy bears from before l was born. I can’t stand to see a teddy bear in the trash as it saddens me so will rescue it. a discarded teddy bear is a discarded childhood memory and they should never be thrown away. So you get them out and set them free of the dust and cobwebs.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. She is lovely. I have two of my old dolls and my collection of costume dolls, they come out with grandchildren, and a dolls house somewhere, and I have made dolls again for grandchildren. Here’s to our inner child and some doll loving.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. What a beautiful knitted doll! I’m pretty sure a lot of people hold onto something or many things from childhood and continue with it into adulthood. I have quite a few: anything with elephants, doing puzzle and activity books, coloring, and the list goes on. Have fun with your dolls!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you!
      I’m so pleased you still have your dolls. I think mine will be displayed in my bedroom too – they’ll join the doll and teddy my mum made. It’s a little less dusty in there and I could wait ashes for the right cabinet to present itself at the right price.
      I love the naivete of my new knitted doll. Thanks so much for commenting πŸŽ„

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am a doll lover, too. I think my husband has been a bit embarrassed about it especially when I had my dolls in our bedroom (I now have my own bedroom for sleep and sensory issues) or in the living room. The room I am in now is pink and decorated with Strawberry Shortcake stickers. I love it! I also have most of my dolls on display on my dressers, with some still out in the living room. My grandma was a doll collector, so I don’t feel too bad about it – only I am pretty sure she never talked to hers as I still do at times (apologizing for knocking them over as I pass, or for not paying attention to them for a while. My grandmas dolls were burned in her house fire – she felt really bad about that. Then two Christmases before she died, my mom, sister in law, and I went in and bought her one of the weighted, realistic baby dolls. It was given to my sister in law when my grandma died, which kind of hurts me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚ I’m bound to talk to mine too. I can remember when I got most of them. We have separate rooms too, for the same reasons, and I’ll be keeping them in my room. I hope your sister in law treasures your grandmother’s doll. 🌼 πŸ’


  7. I love the doll you made!! I’m way into jigsaw puzzles. (I do them daily to unwind before bed.) Yay, you!!! Get those dolls out of storage and put them where they’ll bring you joy, sister! Proud of you!! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I love handmade dolls. Yours is beautiful. Ellie and I still have many of our childhood dolls and toys. They are also stored away. We used to have them in a large pine cabinet but it is now full of a retro glass and crockery collection, together with some fun Japanese and vintage toys we have collected. The cabinet is in what was once the end of the hall which is now part of our bright kitchen and this is not so good for fabrics so we stored the dolls. They’ll come out of hiding again but at least they are safe for the time being.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Beautiful doll! I love dressing dolls up and playing the hairstylist with them, even though I’m about 30 years “too old” for that. It’s great that you feel ready to display your dolls collection and bring them out of the closet!

    Liked by 3 people

        1. I’ve been wiping them over and found a 1964 mark on the back of one of them. It was given to me in 1966. It’s nice to recall memories as I’m cleaning them πŸ™‚ Yes, I’m going to enjoy this πŸ™‚ xx

          Liked by 1 person

  10. Haven’t heard from you in a few weeks so I thought I’d drop by to see how you were! I think an issue we have as humans, all of us at times worry about what others might think of us. It’s natural but listen, if you aren’t breaking the law or hurting someone I say go for it. What ever puts a smile on your face. If dolls do it for you then don’t worry what others may or may not think. I know a LOT of grown women who collect dolls. People collect all kinds of things, spoons, coasters, magnets (My aunt has her entire kitchen covered with magnets where ever they will stick!) YARN… you’re not odd. You’re not strange. You’re human. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, that’s very kind of you Stephanie, thank you. And thank you for your comments re dolls πŸ™‚
      Not sure how I missed your blog posts. I’ve just been over to your blog and sure enough there are posts I’ve not read. I have been struggling to keep up with the 80 to 100 posts a day that land in the reader plus trying to avoid the snow blogs. I shall go back to your blog in a mo and catch up πŸ™‚ πŸŽ„πŸŽ„

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I understand! Believe me. I was just concerned for a moment and wanting to make sure you were okay! I had thought perhaps you’d gotten sucked into the holiday vortex like many others. I was glad to see you’d just blogged and that you are okay. Anyway, someone missed you! hahaha

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I love your post about dolls and I would enjoy that puzzle too. I do both. Puzzles and I make dolls. Once a week I go to ‘doll class’. I have painted porcelain dolls of all kinds and have just begun a doll house family set. Some days I can’t concentrate enough to paint much, but it nurtures to my inner child. LOL
    Your homemade lady is quite chic.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Your doll is lovely. Why can’t you love what you love, collect what you want, there are no rules for this. People collect all sorts of things, some might sound silly but who are we to judge? I collect yarn. I am sure that sounds silly to those who are not yarn addicted but who cares? I love ti and that is what matters. If you love your dolls, display them with pride. Best wishes., Meredith

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Meredith πŸ™‚ They are now out of the closet and now needing new clothes.
      I have yarn and fabric collections too but I don’t ‘hide’ those.
      Thanks for visiting me here πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸŒ²πŸŽ


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: