This is brilliant! From reading this I realise I am similar. When no one else is around my movement and vocal behaviour changes, it becomes more silly – but silly in a playful sense. I’ll kind of dance around the house and make up songs using made up words. Not every time I’m alone but often. I had never thought about this as unmasking.
I’ve written some about this topic before, regarding the joy I feel when I see other Autistic people moving in Autistic ways, but today I want to write about how my own movement affects and reflects my emotions. I get a little sweary at the very end when talking about getting rid of the allistic (non-autistic) mask.
I am attempting to reclaim my own movement, trying to elicit decades’-old kinesthetic memory from my body.
How did I move as a child? How did I experience and express my feelings before I learned to primarily move the way other people do?
Feelings weren’t a big thing in my childhood house. Logic was prioritized over feelings, always. With Spock and Data as my childhood idols because they didn’t fit in with human society any better than I did, the anti-emotion message from my parents was only reinforced.
But then came my…
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