Tree down Art up

The decorations came down today. They went up early due to a visit from the grandchildren very early in December. Kind of sad to take them down but some normalcy is needed. The loom is now back in its normal spot rather than hiding behind the sofa.

So the art work is back on the wall where it lives happily until the Christmas tree πŸŽ„comes out again.

20180103_160948

This is graphite and white acrylic on paper. Drawn/painted by me c. 2011. It was a complete break from what I had been doing and came about through working through angst that had started as anxiety because of what I had drawn underneath it.

Ok, so I guess you want to know more now I wrote that!

I had drawn a tree, a Moreton Bay Fig. This particular tree is growing in the Auckland Domain. It’s been there since I was a child. Move on a few years to when I was a young mum to my daughter, then five, and my son, aged two. Friends had collected us and taken us to the Domain. I had just left my first husband and was living in a women’s refuge with my children. My friends kept asking me questions and I ended up having a very public, very loud meltdown. It was horrendous. It was school holidays or a weekend because there were many families there sitting having picnics on the grass. I remember the stares. I was extremely distraught.

And my children witnessed it.

I love trees, especially Moreton Bay Figs so I started to draw one but I was overtaken by anxiety due to aforementioned reason. I threw paint at it, drew into it and became happy with my creation. Happy enough that I can live with it on my wall and don’t think about its past until, like now, I started to write the bit under the image above. (The trees in the image above are no particular species.)

I had no plans to tell you that. It just suddenly came up.

I use to feel embarrassed, humiliated, shameful… etc but I don’t now. I now know I’m autistic and I was pushed much too far at a very stressful and vulnerable point in my life.

Anyway, I’m fine now 🌹🌻🌼❀

Author: yarnandpencil

I'm a Christian on the autistic spectrum blogging about life and my art/craft practice.

24 thoughts on “Tree down Art up”

  1. Thank you for sharing this story! And so good that you are not ashamed of it anymore. Isn’t it amazing how in a way the diagnosis has empowered you and made you stop being ashamed?
    And such a lovely painting!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Moreton Bay Figs are amazing and stand strong over the years. It it wonderful that in difficult times you were able to find inspiration and joy drawing and painting that tree.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! The painting is in monochrome. It depicts a stand of trees along a ridge of a hill that appear to be swaying in the wind. In front of the trees there is a sweep of what could be interpreted as a wide path or a road. It sweeps from distant right to left before turning and coming towards the viewer. It creates a c shape. It feels like there is a lot of movement in the picture. πŸ™‚ (smiley face)

      Liked by 1 person

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