Hi, it’s me again already!
In my previous blog over on Blogger where I wasn’t really being me (it was more like an enforced happy mask) I would get very anxious trying to leave a comment after every post I read. Sometimes it could take up to half an hour to write one or two sentences. In the end I became so disheartened it was easier to give up blogging altogether.
When back in August I returned to my blog, I decided to start afresh over here on WordPress. I made a rule for myself: if i cannot think of something to say immediately after reading a post, I don’t say anything. Sometimes I really want to let the person know I care so I leave a heart if words fail me. Other times I might leave a smiley face or a couple of xx If I’ve enjoyed and/or been moved by a piece of writing I always click on ‘like’ (even though the word itself often falls short!).
I think this difficulty, where words fail me, is linked to my autism. Maybe it has something to do with executive functioning….?
Please, if you follow me, never agonize over leaving a comment.
It’s really odd that I’m only just started to think about executive function and how it does/does not impact on my life. Strange I know but I believe it’s because I’ve been so focused on sensory perceptual issues.
So I’ve been sitting spinning and as the wheel turns my mind whirs away too. To be honest my thinking hasn’t got me very far…not yet.
As a much younger person I was told I was very slow, lazy, and that I never think. I remember clearly being told that my friend was a pleasure to teach as she only had to be shown once. These words were so hurtful as I tried very hard and practiced diligently. The guide motto of ‘Be Prepared’ often came to mind. I would practice doing tasks or an activity to try and be quick and efficient as possible. Sometimes this was fun other times it just caused greater anxiety.
There’s lots to think about and ponder upon. I don’t want to hang on to all this stuff. I want to sort it out, see how it relates to me now, and then let it go.
So back to spinning… I start spinning or weaving or whatever and I just keep on going. I cannot stop easily to go and attend other tasks.
In my last post I showed you this fibre called Higglety Pigglety…
Here it is as a single ply on the bobbin…
And finally wound into hanks…
The two hundred grams of merino/bamboo fibre after plying has made approximately 760 metres.
Now I shall go and reread all the stuff on executive function/dysfunction…again. Often I have to read a text many times before it starts to seep into my brain… and it has nothing to do with lack of intelligence.
Please leave a comment if you can recommend a helpful book. Thanks.
Bye for now xx