Being creative is essential to who I am. I spend my days in creativity. Honestly, I would truly struggle to live without it… I just wouldn’t be me.
So it saddens me that I’ve been spoiling it but happier now that I recognise my foolishness.
It’s loneliness. It’s fine to be lonely if you own it. I’m afraid I haven’t been owning my loneliness and have been expecting others to fill the void. So instead of enjoying spinning, weaving, drawing or whatever, I’ve sat there resenting people for what I considered is their lack of care. Hmm…
It’s taken me a while to be able to write about this perhaps because I’m ashamed of myself and also it’s taken time to get my head around it. I’m doing ok now as my faith has put everything back into perspective. I’ve read several articles I’ve found across the internet, mostly faith based, that have helped. They miss one point though; what if it is female companionship you are especially missing? It’s not easy to see Christ as female even though I know he is all things to all people who love him.
I rejoice at being free of the anger and resentment and I am creating happily again. I am still looking for an answer that fits my query though.